Trump™. The interview

The following interview is fictitious. It was conducted via ChatGPT.

JH: Mr. President. I recently referred to you as a brand. [https://tbobm.com/4718/trump/] What’s your response?

DT: A brand? That’s not an insult. That’s reality. I’m bigger than politics. I’m Trump. I’m a phenomenon. Everyone knows my name. Everyone talks about me. And whether you like me or not – you can’t ignore me. That’s power. That’s branding. And that’s exactly what America needs: someone who understands how to win.

JH: Your communication is loud, simple, repetitive. Is that your strategy?

DT: It’s not a strategy. It’s common sense. If you want to reach millions of people, you don’t talk like a college professor. You talk straight. Tough. No fluff. I say it like it is. Again and again. Because it works. People love it. The media hates it. And me? I laugh.

JH: You don’t sell politics. You sell yourself. No substance, just show.

DT: Exactly. Politics is a show. Everything else is fake. People don’t want some boring guy with papers. They want someone who slams the table. Who gets things done. I’m not polite. I’m not politically correct. I’m effective. I win. And if you don’t get that, you’ve been asleep for the last ten years.

JH: The 2024 election felt more like a campaign spectacle than a vote. Fair?

DT: Of course it was a show. And I was the main act. And I won. Again. The others made policy papers – I made headlines. And you know what? Headlines beat papers. Always. People want energy. Direction. Not PDFs.

JH: Some say you’ve damaged democracy.

DT: Democracy was broken long before I got there. I just showed how weak it really was. I cleaned house. Replaced judges. Cut down bureaucracy. Exposed the media. That’s not destruction – that’s maintenance. If you can’t handle that, step aside. I’m staying.

JH: Branding experts say strong brands should have a social conscience – something beyond pure profit. Many are disappointed in the Trump brand.

DT: Of course they’re disappointed. Because I don’t give them what they want to hear. I’m not some morally flavored yogurt with a rainbow on the label. I’m Trump. And Trump™ doesn’t stand for feel-good virtue. Trump™ stands for strength, dominance, results. These so-called experts talk about social responsibility because they’ve never carried any real responsibility. They sit in agencies, write reports, give TED talks – but they wouldn’t survive a week in my world. The truth is, brands with a “conscience” lose when things get tough. I won because I wasn’t nice. I was clear. I didn’t bow down – I stood tall. So let’s be honest: If you’re looking for a conscience, go to church. If you want results, come to Trump.

JH: What role do things like the welfare state, integration, rule of law, environmental protection, and international cooperation play in the worldview of the Trump brand?

DT: Honestly? Not much. At least not the way you people mean it. Welfare? Sounds nice, costs money. I don’t build comfort zones, I build strength. If you want something – work. If you can’t keep up – tough. America is not a charity. Integration? I call it control. Not everyone gets in. Not everyone fits in. You adapt, or you’re out. Borders exist for a reason. I enforce them. Rule of law? I respect laws – when they work. If they’re in the way, we change them. I want judges who get things done, not judges who give speeches. Environmental protection? I like clean air. But I hate ideology. I’m not saving glaciers while American jobs disappear. Growth comes first. Everything else is secondary. International cooperation? Only if it pays off. I’m not here to save Europe or host UN tea parties. I’m here for America. If that means walking out of deals – I walk. If that means raising tariffs – I raise them. Cooperation isn’t holy. It’s a deal. And I only make good deals. So write this down: Feel-good politics, global visions, green virtue – that’s not Trump™. Trump™ is hard interest. America First. Always.

JH: Does the Trump brand weaken the USA brand?

DT: No. It saves it. Before Trump, “USA” was an old logo on a worn-out product. Weak. Soft. Sold out. Everyone took what they wanted – trade, defense, respect, jobs – and we just gave it away. I made the brand sharp again. I gave it edge. Power. Presence. When people say I damaged America’s image, what they really mean is: I shattered their illusion. Their fantasy of some friendly global cop handing out hugs and aid. I’m not here for applause in Paris. I’m here to deliver for my country. And if that means breaking a few icons – good. A brand that never evolves dies. I rebranded America. And suddenly, the whole world talks about us again. Including you. So no – Trump™ doesn’t weaken. Trump™ clarifies. And that makes the USA brand stronger than ever.

JH: Can what you say today still be valid tomorrow? In terms of brand consistency?

DT: Tomorrow? Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on what tomorrow needs. Brand consistency doesn’t mean saying the same thing every day. It means winning every day. I’m not a parrot. I’m not a politician stuck in some belief system. I’m a brand that moves when it’s smart – because it can. What matters isn’t the sentence from yesterday. What matters is the impact of today. If I say A today, and B works better tomorrow – I say B. And if that confuses some people, I don’t care. People follow me not because I’m always the same. They follow me because I’m always ahead. So yes: Trump™ is consistent – in a language you don’t understand. Results-driven. Adaptive. Brutally efficient. Truth is flexible. Victory is not.

JH: Bruce Springsteen criticizes you on his new record.

DT: Oh, Bruce. Sad. Used to be a star, now just an old man with a guitar trying to feel important. Nobody cares about his songs. When he sings against me, my team smiles. Free publicity. Thanks, Bruce. You’re part of the show now. My show.

JH: Allegedly, you threatened him if he returns to the U.S.

DT: I don’t threaten. I clarify. If you work against America, you face consequences. Simple. You don’t get to spit poison in public and expect flowers at the airport. If Bruce comes back, we’ll have a talk. Or someone will. That’s how it works.

JH: I was critical in my article. Can I safely enter the U.S.?

DT: Depends. We look at people. We read what they write. If you think you can mouth off and then stroll into my country – well. Maybe you get in. Maybe you get questioned. Maybe not. Your call. And ours.

JH: Mr. President, thank you for the conversation.

DT: That wasn’t a conversation. That was generosity. From me. You got five minutes of attention from someone making history – while you write articles no one remembers. So sure, say “thank you.” But don’t forget who gave who the stage. And next time you think about  coming to my country – think twice before you hit publish.